The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his · Real life online dating horror stories: “I met a girl who described herself as a year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realised that the girl who sat The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his ... read more
I thought that was super weird and didn't want to, but he kept asking so I finally told him. Then he made a big deal about telling me his, which was 50 points higher. OK, cool, whatever. He also told me that he got a soccer scholarship at the school where I work, but decided to go to a different college.
The next day I looked up his name in our database. DENIED with an SAT score waaaaay below what he'd told me! We were sitting at a table in the dining room, and I noticed a bunch of people perched around the bar, watching us. I was working at a research center for war and genocide at the time, and I guess enough people at the office thought I'd be super depressing, so they made an office pool, March Madness-style.
I found out about it because I made some sort of inappropriate joke, and he followed up his laugh with, 'You're about to lose a bunch of people in my office a bunch of money. I went into the bathroom, called my roommate, and had her come get me. Haven't online-dated since. Before telling me—during sex—that he had a girlfriend.
And then when I kicked him out, he asked me for my Wi-Fi password so he could get an Uber. I see him waiting outside and attempt to quicken my pace no one wants to awkwardly make eye contact for an entire block —all the while trying to strut my stuff, of course. About halfway to him, I just Broken shoe and everything.
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Twitter content This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from. At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable. Topics culture dating dating app Lifestyle love okcupid Romance Tinder. The Best Early Labor Day Bedding Deals You Can Shop Right Now. Shop body pillows, mattress toppers, weighted blankets, and more.
Her eye immediately livened up and she started asking if I used to be in a gang, if I fought a lot, and similar things. She did that for a solid 10 minutes and ignored me when I tried to stop her. Right there… In the middle of the restaurant… In front of everyone….
Needless to say, we never talked after that one. But beware of girls this crazy, guys. After we went there everything went downhill. He was too dumb. I tried to make conversation about books to get something out of him and was talking about my favorite book by George R.
R Martin when the waiter showed up and my date said:. But, no really… Intelligence is a great attraction for most women and men. Everything went fine until she proposed we stop for a smoke.
I thought she meant weed, since she seemed like the kind of girl. But she actually pulled out meth…. Considering the date started with her crazy driving around and yelling at other people that girl was a bit too much on the crazy side. Take what you want from this story, guys…. We all know this. And it happens to both men and women. I suggest we go to restaurant closer to her place so she can get home faster. It takes me an hour to get there, and I arrive at the restaurant before she does so I could be prepared.
The waitress brings her to my table, and I see another man walking with her. They both sit down which got me really confused. For the first time in my entire life, I was completely speechless. I had no idea how to reply, so I just got up and walked out. And with that, we conclude our list of Online Dating Horror Stories. I hope you enjoyed it and had a laugh here and there. I also hope you got some value from all this. What To Expect From An Online Dating Long Distance Relationship.
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List Of 10 Fun First Date Ideas You Should Go For. Home ONLINE DATING 20 Online Dating Horror Stories That Will Teach Everyone What To Watch Out For Online. ONLINE DATING. By nerds Last updated Aug 5, If you were married, you definitely had similar interests… 2. Incongruent Opener… There are plenty of great openers out there on the web, aimed to help men and women spark a conversation online. BUT, on the other hand it can make them feel like prostitutes which is a HUGE no-no… For example: 4.
Ignore and move on, thank you… 5. Women hate it even more. So avoid it at any cost. Two For One… Women… Do you remember the weird Apocalypse opener on number 2? The Gambler… This sounds like an awesome title, yeah?
Apparently nobody trusted him enough to say the truth about the date afterwards. He also wanted to exploit me for more dates… Not Cool! Ooooops, haha… I decided to throw a light-hearted and funny one in here just to lighten the mood after all these serious and thought-provoking Online Dating Horror Stories.
Haha… Right there… In the middle of the restaurant… In front of everyone… Needless to say, we never talked after that one. But she actually pulled out meth… I watched her do meth, right in front of me… Considering the date started with her crazy driving around and yelling at other people that girl was a bit too much on the crazy side.
Dick Pics… We all know this. Now, years later, I still regularly receive a couple dick pics every month or so. Really, guys? Do you think that will work? On a BLANK PROFILE?!? She asked the right questions… Think about it: sending a dick photo to a blank profile… what does this tell about yourself?
Hell NO! So, act accordingly… Hopefully this leads to less dick pics for the women reading this. The Catfish… Ugh. She was perfect!
Proof that OkCupid isn't always OK. I went for a drink with a guy I had been chatting with online. He seemed pretty normal good job, intelligent, funny. His first question on sitting down with our drinks was whether I was up for anal. I bypassed and watched him drink his body weight in shots before he started crying about his ex-girlfriend and then threw up down my shoulder when I was trying to walk him home.
This was around 18 months ago, and he still messages me from time to time with a "hey," or my favourite, "I miss you. Met a guy who seemed to be decent. We went to see a movie, and he kept talking about my feet — how "beautiful and sexy" he thought they were. I was like, "Thanks? I said, "Definitely not. I accidentally kicked him in the face.
I was so shocked! I excused myself to go to the restroom and just walked straight out the door and left him in the theater. I had an online dating app for exactly one day because the first person to message me sent me a long, detailed, emotional message asking for permission to masturbate onto my socks.
I met a guy on OkCupid, and we hit it off pretty well. After we hung out a few times, he came over to my place with a bottle of wine and a movie. He wasn't supposed to stay the night, but he lived 45 minutes away, it had snowed earlier, and I lived in a very rural area with a lot of hills and curves. So he decided he was going to stay that night instead of driving home.
This only irritated me because he didn't really ask, he just decided. But the best part of the night was right before I went to bed he was staying on the couch : He asked me if I should change my pad. I looked at him quizzically, and he said, "You need to change your pad before you go to bed — you could get TSS [toxic shock syndrome].
His argument was that he was an EMT and has a sister, so he "knows all about these things. Needless to say, he went home the next morning, and I've neither talked to or seen him since.
I once received a message from a man asking if I would give him a rim job , because I looked like the type of girl who does that. I went out with a guy from MeetMe. Things were going really well, and he eventually almost moved in with me and my family. Then I caught him looking down my year-old daughter's shirt.
I broke up with him and didn't blink twice. Recently found out he is awaiting a hearing for a sexual attack on a child under I dodged a bullet and will never trust dating online again. I met a guy on Plenty of Fish. We began messaging, and he seemed like a nice person, so we exchanged numbers.
After a few days of talking on WhatsApp, our conversation fizzled out, and we stopped talking. A couple of weeks later, totally out of the blue, he sent me a picture of a random woman's boobs. Confused by this, I just sent back a question mark, and he then said, "Send more. He then said, "Send me more or I'll send that picture of the boobs to everyone you know! He then started reeling off names of people I'm friends with on Facebook, even though I hadn't told him my last name and we weren't Facebook friends!
I was incredibly freaked out and threatened to call the police, which scared him off. I blocked his number and set all my Facebook settings to private, and I've not been on POF or anything similar since. This guy sent me this message on Tinder: "pizza and anal? I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete He asked where I worked because I looked familiar He said I looked like a girl from an amateur porn video.
I knew that was not possible. He then asked if he could jerk off while we continued our normal conversation. After he tricked me into continuing the conversion for a few more minutes, I told him good-bye. Then he barraged me with dozens of lengthy messages asking to help him orgasm by telling him what he was doing was normal. Apparently he had issues with disapproval and couldn't finish without me telling him the simple letters "OK.
I had been chatting with a guy on Yahoo Singles for a while, and we got along fairly well. When he asked me out to dinner I figured, sure, why not? It was singularly the most awkward and uncomfortable evening I have ever spent on a date. We spent our time attempting to make disjointed conversation At the end of the evening we just simply said good night, and I figured that was the end of it.
Approximately six months later, I received a message from his Yahoo account that roughly said the following: "Hi! This is X's brother. This is going to sound really odd, but X is in prison for a few months a big misunderstanding! and I know he'd really like to hear from you. His address is through the ABC Correctional facility. Please write him! No joke. Apparently he was a foreigner and wanted to become an American citizen. He couldn't comprehend why I declined.
He said, "Other people would do it for half the money! Met a guy online, and we hit it off on our first date. A couple weeks later we had gone on four dates, and he knew where I lived. That's when it started getting weird. He wouldn't return my phone calls, so after a week I stopped trying.
Not long after, I glanced out the window of my house and saw him parked a couple houses down with another person in the car. I waited to see what he would do, and he drove off an hour later.
A couple days later, he was back, except parked in a different location. I started to get freaked out. There was also a second person in the car that time. They left two hours later. The third time I saw his car outside, I was poised to call the cops. I didn't get a chance because there was a knock on the door. I opened it to a very pregnant girl on my front steps. She began to rant: How could I date a guy with a girlfriend, did I not have any morals, who did I think I was trying to steal her man, etc.
I let her go on for a while before I interrupted her, told her I had no idea, and I asked why she was mad at me since I wasn't the one cheating on her. I found out that she forced him to drive to my house and sit outside nine different times. She wanted to see what I looked like and have him confront me and break it off , but he wouldn't go up to my door.
I wish them all the best. My first experience with dating after my divorce, I met a guy who ended up being a sexual predator who "forgot" to put himself on the sex offender registry. He tried to get me to send him naked pics of my daughter, under the guise of being a nudist. I would be kicking myself if I didn't ask, so I was wondering if you would accept an engagement of witty banter between two intellectuals.
Of course this "engagement" may start off as purely platonic, but my sensual desires will most likely guide our cohesive unity down more erotic, lascivious, and sexual paths that will include, but are not limited to, passionate make out sessions under the starlit sky, dry humping, fondling each other's naughty parts, and an abundance of new, uncharted sexual positions where I assert my pure dominance in establishing a realm of absolute sovereignty in your nether regions.
Is this something you would be interested in pursuing? Buzz · Posted on Oct 13, by Spencer Althouse BuzzFeed Staff. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF. Share This Article Facebook. BuzzFeed Daily Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! Email Address Sign up.
The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every day he charted his · Real life online dating horror stories: “I met a girl who described herself as a year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realised that the girl who sat ... read more
You'd think the anonymity of online interaction would make it easier for guys to come off as smooth and in control. Then he made a big deal about telling me his, which was 50 points higher. Then one week it all hits and you suddenly do not have enough time in the day to do all that needs to be accomplished. And I knew he was a nice guy, just not the guy for me. I waited to see what he would do, and he drove off an hour later. I was like, "Thanks?From Jayne Hitchcock: "I started to whittle the list down online dating horror deleting those with eyebrow-raising or just plain sad screen names, such as variations on 'loverboy,' 'mr. Well, SELF asked to hear your dating app horror stories, and you guys answered, online dating horror. Before telling me—during sex—that he had a girlfriend. His first question on sitting down with our drinks was whether I was up for anal. At the end of the evening we just simply said good night, and I figured that was the end of it. Met a guy who seemed to be decent.